Bad gifts for cold babies

Christmas Songs That Don’t Make Sense « A Brick in the Valley

Christmas Songs That Don’t Make Sense

It's a video (the title of this post is my diabolical, um, fiendish um, I mean, clever[?] way to try to get you to view the video because othewise it would be hard to make sense of it [i.e., the title of the post] without doing so) so there isn't anything written I could quote, so let's just move on to my reply (with a minor edit because I forgot that the plural of "reindeer" is "reindeer"):

Actually, it should be "A Christmas Song That Doesn't Make Sense", unless there's more in the series.  Like "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer".  Here's Santa with the biggest5 spy network in the world to keep track of all the kids in the world and one is supposed to believe he doesn't know what's going on in with his reindeer?  And he seems to care whether children are "good or bad", so why not his reindeer as well?  Finally, one would also think if he can get the adult reindeer to listen to him, he should be powerful to do the same with the younger reindeer as well.  But there's poor Rudolph, being laughed at, being called names, not being allowed to play reindeer games.  Why?  Why?  Why does Santa hate ampu-  I mean, red-nosed reindeer?  This song is what made me become an a-Santa-ist.
But flash-forward.  Now here's Santa needing Rudolph's help- you know, the same reindeer that when he was younger Santa apparently wouldn't lift a finger to help.  And Rudolph must have the word "CHUMP" stamped on his forehead, because here he has Santa in a prime bargaining position and what does he do?  He throws it away with a "Why sure, Santa, I'll be glad to help" when he should have been saying, "Yo, Santa, show me the Benjamins"- all for the fawning adulation of a bunch of reindeer that earlier wouldn't have given him the time of day (I realize that reindeer not wearing watches would make this nigh impossible, but you know what I mean).