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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

An open letter to any rich Nigerians who may happen to read this blog

Dear Mr Mrs Ms Miss Dr Herr Monsieur Hr Frau A V M Admiraal Admiral Air Cdre Air Commodore Air Marshal Air Vice Marshal Alderman Alhaji Ambassador Baron Barones Brig Brig Gen Brig General Brigadier Brigadier General Brother Canon Capt Captain Cardinal Cdr Chief Cik Cmdr Col Col Dr Colonel Commandant Commander Commissioner Commodore Comte Comtessa Congressman Conseiller Consul Conte Contessa Corporal Councillor Count Countess Crown Prince Crown Princess Dame Datin Dato Datuk Datuk Seri Deacon Deaconess Dean Dhr Dipl Ing Doctor Dott Dott sa Dr Dr Ing Dra Drs Embajador Embajadora En Encik Eng Eur Ing Exma Sra Exmo Sr F O Father First Lieutient First Officer Flt Lieut Flying Officer Fr Frau Fraulein Fru Gen Generaal General Governor Graaf Gravin Group Captain Grp Capt H E Dr H H H M H R H Hajah Haji Hajim Her Highness Her Majesty Herr High Chief His Highness His Holiness His Majesty Hon Hr Hra Ing Ir Jonkheer Judge Justice Khun Ying Kolonel Lady Lcda Lic Lieut Lieut Cdr Lieut Col Lieut Gen Lord M M L M R Madame Mademoiselle Maj Gen Major Master Mevrouw Miss Mlle Mme Monsieur Monsignor Mr Mrs Ms Mstr Nti Pastor President Prince Princess Princesse Prinses Prof Prof Dr Prof Sir Professor Puan Puan Sri Rabbi Rear Admiral Rev Rev Canon Rev Dr Rev Mother Reverend Rva Senator Sergeant Sheikh Sheikha Sig Sig na Sig ra Sir Sister Sqn Ldr Sr Sr D Sra Srta Sultan Tan Sri Tan Sri Dato Tengku Teuku Than Puying The Hon Dr The Hon Justice The Hon Miss The Hon Mr The Hon Mrs The Hon Ms The Hon Sir The Very Rev Toh Puan Tun Vice Admiral Viscount Viscountess and/or Wg Cdr (along with any and all other titles that may be applicable to you):

I wish to warn you of an epidemic that seems to be sweeping your country.  If the scads of e-mails that I have received (and I have received not just one scad, but several) accurately reflect the extent of the problem, then a large number of your wealthy compatriots have gone to their demise intestate, leaving their assets bona vacantia and the executors of their estates scrabbling to find someone to smuggle transfer any monies left unbequeathed out of the country and into their private bank account.  Alas, even widows have been affected as well, as one such poor soul has been stricken with an ailment that allows her to contact complete strangers and ask them to disburse money her deceased husband left her to charities, yet leaves her unable to contact those same charities herself.  This epidemic seems to now be spreading to other countries, as a Laotian executor has recently e-mailed me claiming to be in a similar predicament.  I thereby urge you to do your part to stem the tide of funds being bled from your country due to unfortunate administrators being taken advantage of by individuals who would not scruple to charge them exorbitant fees so that they may discharge their duties.  Please make sure you have a valid will drawn up as soon as possible, especially if you think you may be susceptible to sudden, unforeseen death.  If, perchance, you cannot think of any suitable inheritors, at least contract with an agent to settle the details beforehand so that the administrator of your will is most likely to get the best deal possible.

Wishing you a very long and prosperous life,

Deof Movestofca

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